I am personally excited because my birth father will finnaly be in the audience watching me. Wether or not he will approve a certain scene I must do with a certain boy is another story, but all I have ever wanted was for him to be apart of my life, and he will be that night. It will probally be the best day ever for me. Everything about that day will be perfect.
As soon as the lights hit my face adrenalin will course through my veins and all will be perfect in world. For once, I will actuall smile and not force myself to. For the first time in a long time, when someone asks me if I'm okay, I don't have to lie. I'm actually feeling great! The person I have always wanted to just love me, accept me and be apart of my life is going to be there. You can bet it will be the performance of my life. (Hahaha) I'm only fifteen, but in daddys little girl years, it feels like a whole lot more.
But of course with most things there comes rejection, and dissapointment. So for me to expect the best probally isn't the brightest idea. I should, and I believe more people should,
"expect the worse, and hope for the best." -Erin Biggs (My oldest sister)
She always told me that. She said, "Alex, other people don't define who you are. You do. And Eleanor Roosevelt was right; No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
I suppose they are right. It still doesn't take the pain away, but at least I have what I know for sure:
- I have wonderful and beautiful sisters who will always be there for me,
- Friends that pulled me through some rough times, and the rest to come,
- A mother who acted as a mother and my father cause he wouldn't,
- And hope.
It may not be much, but it has carried me this far.
Alexandra Camacho
WHS
Wickenburg, Ariz.
Wow... I don't know what it is about you Alex but you speak very powerfully and I keep feeling the need to cry. *Sniff*
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm happy that your birth father will come to the show. And I know what you are talking about with that scene. Trust me, if my dad saw me do that, he would be climbing the walls because he does the whole "little girl, don't ever grow up, you're too young" thing on me. I know how that kind of is but I think your birth dad will realize that it's part of the play. It shouldn't be a big problem.
And with your sister telling you that only you can define yourself, I agree. What's hard is that everyone else expects their friends to define them. I guess it's because we don't want to be in that puddle of Self-Pride.
Dannie Malleo
WHS
Wickenburg, Ariz.